Travel = Opportunities to gather new signage. Back in a week!

Not the best place to practice your "Thriller" dance routine.

Unless, I suppose, you're truly among the ranks of the undead. Then it might help.

Lesson two of Putting People in Boxes: If you have two people, you may have to stack them.

n.b. With extremely large people, consider flinging arrows at them instead.

Lesson one of Putting People in Boxes: Choose a box of sufficient size.

See, if we imagine Mr. StickFigureMan is the CEO of British Petroleum …

The one-legged man chose his path with care, remembering what had happened the last time.

Swimming = good. Swimming in the wood chipper = bad.

This is Letter E in the Accident ABC's: Eaten by Equipment. How Embarrassing.

The man hated the horse for his superior anatomical detail. The horse, for his part, just wished the man had legs so he'd get off and walk once in a damn while.

The day he found the Giant Magic Acorn on the Thames Path, his life forever changed.